So many people tell me they are conflict averse. And I certainly know that conflict can be uncomfortable. I used to feel uncomfortable all the time; in my teen years I spent the majority of my time in conflict, mostly with my father.
Now, I remember the last time I fought with my dad. I was traveling in Asia, and had been for many months, when my parents came to meet me in Bali. I was 25 years old, and had spent most of my life living at home, with nearly daily arguments with my dad.
On the night before they left for home, and I was leaving for Lombok, my dad started to scream at me. He wanted, or needed, me to make a detailed list of all the things he was bringing back to Canada for me, so he wouldn’t have a hassle with customs.
I looked him right in the eye and asked, “What are you yelling for…?”
For the first time in my life I realized that conflict is merely one way to interpret conversation.
Since that time I have had a few people come at me wanting to start conflict, mostly my children, and I watch my mind wanting to dive right in. But, with awareness, mindfulness, remind myself that this is only conflict if I choose it to be; instead I can pick conversation.
Next time, when you may be feeling a difference of opinion bubbling to the surface, wanna pick conversation instead?
I have a few tricks up my sleeve if it interests you! And practice makes improvement.
I’m here to help you create your best life. Together we’ll cut through your excuses, break through the blocks holding you back, build dynamic confidence and create action plans to achieve your career goals, improve your relationships, and increase your happiness.
