When I have asked my clients to describe me, they have commonly used three words:
Loving, Tolerant, and Relentless.
I am an incredibly loving guy. I grew up in a household with an angry dad. He loved me but had very few skills to express it in a way that didn’t come out anxious or angry. My mum on the other hand, a Rogerian psychologist who believed in unconditional positive regard, showed me what graceful love could look like. The juxtaposition of those two love delivery systems trained me to build secure love relationships so when delivering tough love is the right move, it’s at my fingertips.
After growing up as what felt like an oversensitive kid who would feel hurt if a ladybug landed on somebody else and didn’t pick me, I had to learn some mad skills to prevent me from curling up in the fetal position in my adult life. Through many years of practice—eliminating expectations, diminishing disappointments, and developing healthy non-attachment to outcomes, I learned to tolerate just about anything. Then, I got to experience the symptoms of adopting such an attitude: stressless days, closer relationships, and more people attracted to this calm, accepting energy. Life not only became simpler, but so much easier as well.
The only thing I like better than feeling the win, is witnessing my people win. That feels like a win-win to me. So, I am relentless. Although my brander would prefer I use the word determined. I want my people to win! I want them to figure out what’s holding them back from living their best life, see those blindspots, and leap onto the path that’s going to get them to where they truly want to be. Some people might see this as hard work, but instead, you can believe Marc Anthony’s adaptation of Confucius’ sentiment, “If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.”